Losing it
by tripsonflatsurfaces
Summary: Bella wants a life outside of being Senators Swan's perfect daughter and when she flees to Forks to spend a few weeks with her grandmother she gets more then she bargained for when she seeks out an old friend. Exb...Lemons in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I don't own twilight.

Another party. Another fund raiser. I had stopped knowing what the charities were at these things long ago. All that mattered was that I was there. I just had to show up, smile and be the polite like the polite little senators daughter I was born and bred to be. Lauren handed me my fourth glass of champagne. There was never enough food at these things. I guess they think wasps don't need to eat. The champagne and liquor flowed freely though. At least that made it bearable. Lauren was gorgeous as always. Senator Mallory's perfect daughter. We had all been forced into the same social circle once our fathers were elected. She was the closets thing I had to a friend here since my boyfriend, Jacob, was off writing a speech my father would give before the senate tomorrow. It seemed like he was always working. Never enough hours in the day for me once you put my Dad and Sam in the mix. I yawned into my fast gracefully. I wasn't tired so much as bored. Lately I was getting the feeling like I was sleep walking through my life. Lauren chuckled beside me, gesturing to the stage as Micheal Newton ascended it gracefully.

"What's going on?" I wondered. Lauren rolled her eyes,

"Mike's going to propose. They met a year ago today. Jessica has no idea it's even coming." she was beaming. Lauren loved gossip, so did Jessica for that matter. Jacob and I had been together almost as long as Micheal and Jessica. My father had insisted I go out with him. He was my fathers speech writer and also his biggest supporter. Sometimes I wondered who he adored more, Me or my Father Senator Charles Swan. All my single friends were jealous of course. I wasn't so blind as to not see that. He opened up all my doors and accompined me to all the right places but something between him and I was missing. He was quick with a sweet compliment and extremely close to my father. I should have been happy about the rumors flying that any day now he would propose. My mother would be thrilled of course. A summer wedding in Washington. She had said to me just this morning that it wouldn't take long to plan. I reminded her again that he hasn't even broached the subject with me yet. I should be thrilled I wouldn't have to lift a finger. She was thrilled. Why wasn't I? Why wasn't I panting with happiness?

"If I could have everyone's attention please I'd like to propose a toast to the Stanley's for throwing an absolutely lovely party this evening." he paused for applause. I wonder if they taught being a pretentious idiot at whatever over priced prep school he went too. They'd taught it at mine. Lauren got me around my free wrist and drug me closer to the stage. We were very near the Stanleys now. Jessica was beaming at him with pride and devotion.

"I have something I would like to ask Ms. Jessica Stanley if she would kindly join me on stage." Jessica, loving the spectacle this was becoming smiled and went up on stage with the train of her baby pink and crystal evening gown dragging behind her. She did everything but put her left hand down and accept the ring before it was even offered. Part of me wondered if this was fake...staged...maybe he had asked her earlier and this was all for show. I chided myself for being so cynical right as he slipped the massive diamond on her ring finger and she shrieked a typical

"Yes. Yes. A thousand times. Yes." We all clapped and I pasted a fake smile to my face. They came down off the stage and the band began to play once again. Jessica embraced her family one by one and then Lauren and I. I hugged her gently and then looked with faux jealously at the ring on her hand. She embraced me again.

"Your next!" she whispered in my ear. The thought of sent a icy feeling straight to my toes.

Later that night I was in the massive kitchen at my parents home eating ice cream sitting on the island still in my beaded evening gown from the party when I heard a "tsk tsk tsk" coming from behind me. My shoulders slumped.

"Isabella how do you ever expect to fit into a bridal gown with all the snacking you do?" my mother asked. She took the pint of Ben and Jerry's from my hands and tossed it in the freezer. My Mother was Renee Higgenbottom-Swan. She married my father right out of high school to get out of the po dunk town they grew up in. Forks, Washington. Population under four thousand. My father's father was the chief of police, Geoffrey Swan. He passed away when I was a child. Right before my father was elected. My Grams, Helen, still lives there. The thought of her makes me smile. I miss her. She was the one true constant in my life. I could call her day or night. Show up on her door step unannounced and she'd be there for me. She was getting up there in age too, almost ninety but her mind was sharp. I was glad she lived in a tiny town away from all my fathers political ambition and my mother's social climbing. Her house was really the only home I had ever known outside of the boarding school they sent me to in New York. I only lived in this massive house when I had too. Most of the time I had away from school we'd be on posed family vacations or I would hop a flight straight from JFK to Washington state where my Grams would be waiting for me with open arms. I was her only grand child and she thought I was perfect. She was the only one.

I groaned. She'd mentioned it again...a wedding...the wedding...I sighed to myself, grabbing my heels from the floor where I had kicked them off and started climbing the massive stair case to my room. She was right behind me of course. Not once did she ask about my evening but instead of Mike and Jessica's gaudy engagement. I gave her the few details I could remember while she unzipped my dress and hung it up for me. She was hovering. She hovered...a lot. I pulled a worn tee shirt and boxers from my drawer and pulled them. After I pulled my hair up in a pony tail.

"Well your ring will be much prettier then hers. The Stanleys are old money anyway. Everything about them is tacky tacky tacky." she loved these moments of forced mother daughter bonding. She never seemed to understand, I didn't want to bond. I shook my head for a moment. I turned from my dresser mirror to face her, I couldn't look at her so I stared at my feet. My mother was everything I wasn't. She was regal, I wasn't. She was beautiful, I was no where close. I looked to much like my fathers side of the family, pale skin, dark eyes and dark hair. She was radiant. And with the help of several plastic surgeons, she stayed that way.

"Mom I've been thinking." I stopped short, opening my mouth and closing it again. "Maybe I should travel a little before I settle down. I was thinking Madrid or Italy. Tuscany is beautiful this time of year..." I trailed off when I saw the shocked look on her face.

"This simply isn't the time for you to go running off to Italy. Perhaps you'll honeymoon in Italy. Wouldn't that be lovely?" she stood up gracefully off the end of my bed and patted my hand.

"Just cold feet my darling." She took both of my hands raising them from my sides,

"I think tomorrow we'll go see Dr. Volturi." he was my mothers nutritionist.

"I'm not over weight." I eyed her carefully. She patted my cheek.

"Not yet darling but there's going to be things you'll want to look good for and everyone could stand to lose a few pounds." she dropped my hands to my sides and went to bed while I stood feeling utterly shitty about myself.

I was having the strangest dream. All around me there were bright lights and women giggling loudly. They were tossing wedding gowns at me.

"You'll look beautiful in this!" an older woman said tossing a lacy dress at me.

"I don't like it!" I said sternly tossing it to the floor.

"Your mother does!" she said brightly. Jessica and Lauren appeared beside me.

"We do too" they said together. Their smiles were to wide. Teeth to bright. They looked like rejects from Sound garden's black hole sun music video. Any minute now their faces would melt off there skulls. Another older woman tossed a gown in my arms. It was uglier then the last.

"You'll be perfect in this one!" she chirped. My chest heaved. I refused to cry and forced the tears back stubbornly. It was what I had been trying for all my life.

"I could be perfect." I whispered looking at the ugly heap in my arms.

"Perfect for your mother!" Lauren said happily.

"Perfect for your father!" Jessica said clapping and giggling. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was suddenly wearing the monstrosity.

"Perfect for everyone else." I heard my Grams aged voice from somewhere else. I turned and the lace train followed behind me as I ran looking for her. The dress became tighter and tighter until I was clawing at it to get it off but it wouldn't come off. It was stuck to me like glue. I clawed helplessly at the high neck of the dress. I was panting. They came again. Running at me with ivory and white tulle and lace dresses clutched in there fists.

"This one! This one!" they all cried over each other. I put my arms over the face to block them and that's when I woke up. I ran over and flipped on the light. I all but skidded to my bedroom mirror. I had nail marks up and down my neck and chest. I inspected myself carefully. I had to do something, anything to clear my head. I went over and flopped down in my desk chair. My guide books for Italy laying on my closed laptop. I sighed knowing I needed to be anywhere by here. I couldn't go far. Renee would freak. So would Jacob. This was my nervous breakdown not theirs and I didn't need them to be worried. I opened my lap top and powered it on. My email popped up immediately and like a sign from god my latest email was from Grams. _I_ took it as a sign. I ran to my closet dragging out my two biggest suit cases and started filling them with anything I could get my hands on. Shirts, shorts, panties, socks. Nothing formal! My heart nearly burst at the thought of it. No dresses! No heels! I grabbed all my tolitaries and a few pairs of shoes. Tennis shoes and flip flops mostly. I shoved it all into two bags and grabbed my phone and charger. I looked over at the clock. If I was making it out of here with no interference it would have to be before six in the morning and right now it was ten after five. I dressed quickly and comfortably for the ten hour flight. I grabbed my purse and flung my sunglasses on my face. I ordered a cab from my cell as I carried my bags down the stairs as quietly as possible. I waited in front of the house. The cab screeched to a halt. I helped the barely English speaking cabby throw my bags in the trunk then climbed in the back seat. The sad part is I knew I was running from what to some sounded like a great future. To me it was literally a nightmare.

"Airport please." I said to the cabby. He simply nodded in the rear view mirror. For the first time in a long time I felt like I could breath.

A/n- So I said I'd be back in August and here I am. I started working on this and I'm a little nervous about it so be kind. I don't have a posting schedule for this so I'm not making and posting promises. Chapter 2 is almost done and will hopefully be up next week. Follow me on twitter at fanfictrips.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

The moment I turned my blackberry back on I had thirteen voice mails and thirty text messages. Most of them from my mother and Jake. Everyone was being really up tight. I sent a text before I got on the plane. Apparently 'Gone to see Grams. Be back in like 2 weeks, 3 tops. Love ya!' wasn't good enough. My mother was the worst. she was being really over protective. I wasn't kidnapped. I wasn't being held for millions by Colombian drug lords. I was going to see Grams as I had done twenty times before in my life without incident. I sat down in the airport before staking out a rental car and called my mother back. It only rang once.

"Isabella Marie Swan! Where are you?" she demanded. This was all really stupid considering I'm twenty five and she cant really make me come home.

"Seattle." I answered lamely. I heard her huff.

"Mom, really it's fine. I'm in Seattle. I'm going to get a rental car and drive to Grams." I for some reason was trying to make this better when I didn't have too. I was an adult. I could do what I wanted.

"Bella this is not fine. You've worried all of us." She said sternly

"I told you I wanted to travel." I said. My mother was silent. She was counting. She did that. She didn't like to lose her lady like appearance so when she was really angry she counted. Also apparently yelling gives you wrinkles and she spends enough on botox as it is.

"Bella I expressly told you no to Italy. We talked about it for a possible honeymoon, remember? We said it would be lovely." she said through her teeth.

"No, you said it would be lovely. I said I wanted to go before I settle down." I said back. It was amazing to me how she only heard bits and pieces of my part of a whole conversations but always heard every thing that came out of her mouth.

"Jake is here. He would like to speak with you." I heard rustling as she handed over the phone. I bent all the way over, putting my fore head on my knees.

"Bella." his deep voice came on the line. I winced,

"Hey. Sorry about all this." I muttered.

"So am I. I would of gone with you if you'd asked. You didn't need to run off. Especially right now." he sounded sad. My intention was never to make him sad. I didn't want anyone to be sad.

"I needed to do this alone if that makes any sense. I just...needed to get away." I said slowly to him. Trying to figure out what I was trying to say.

"Get away from me? Honestly Bella. I had to work last night. It's one fund raiser. It wasn't that big a deal." He said.

"Look, I didn't run away from home because you were working last night. I just needed to be with my Grams. I'm sorry." Why was I sorry? She was my grandmother for crying out loud. I could feel all my spineless, lame excuses sitting on the tip of my tongue.

" I get lonely for her." There's one.

" I love her so much and she lives so far away." There's another.

" I was trying to be spontaneous." that was just an out right lie. I was running. Silence hung between us for a moment and then he spoke.

"Sure, Sure. When you get back though we need to talk." Jake said very seriously. I knew just what he wanted to talk about too. White dresses, veils, flowers and rings. My stomach lurched a little.

"Sounds fine." I bit my lip nervously. I didn't want to be the one that hung up first and hurt him more. His end of the conversation went dead and I hit the end button on my phone. We didn't "I love you" or "I miss you" when we got off the phone. We never had. It was more like hanging up with a friend. I got up trying to brush off the conversation and went in search of a rental car.

I had Misery Business by Paramore up as loud as I could stand it on the car radio. I had made the three hour drive and was now cruising through downtown Forks on the way to Grams. This felt right. Singing along with the radio. Windows down feeling the damp spring all around me. It felt so good to be so free. I was just about to turn when a jack ass in a silver Volvo cut in front of me then slowed down. I blew my horn at him. He slowed down even more.

"Stupid shiny Volvo owner." I muttered and went around him.

I pulled into Gram's driveway and smiled. Nothing here ever changed. Her house was still white with hunter green shudders. Her flowers were beginning to bloom in the yard. And the best thing of all was Gram's sitting on her wooden wrap around porch waiting for me. I climbed out of the car, smiling wider then I thought possible. My Gram's in all her roundness came down the steps arms open. I went to her immediately embracing her as tight as I could.

"I am so glad to see you." She said still hugging me.

"I think I'm in deep shit at home." I told her as I pulled back. Her eyes narrowed,

"You take after me that way. I'm always in deep shit."

Grams took me and my bags in the house. She gave me enough time to get settled. The best thing about Grams, other then her cooking, her hugs, her smile and her smell was that she didn't hover. I came downstairs after a half hour or so to the smell of something baking. I didn't care what it was. It smelled fantastic. I walked into the kitchen to find her working away on our meal. I rolled my eyes,

"Let me help Grams." I insisted. She shooed me away from the counter. I sat down at the kitchen table instead. Grams worked away and all I could do was watch.

"So," she blew a fly away hair out of her eyes,

"Your mother tells me you're getting married." she informed me. I laid my head on the table with a thump.

"I am not getting married!" I said. I stood up and went in search of a bottle of wine, a cork screw and a glass. If this conversation was happening, it required a bottle of wine.

"And here I thought you had come to ask for an old lady's blessing." she said in mock dissatisfaction. I found all the items I needed and began opening the wine.

"I would definitely ask you first if I was but I'm not sure that I am." I thought it over for a moment.

"I don't know if marriage is what I want. Somethings missing. We are more like friends. There isn't a lot of I love you's said. He spends more time with Dad then he does with me. I worry sometimes..." I trailed off not wanting to say it out loud.

"What do you worry about baby?" Gram's was friendly and soothing all at the same time. I shrugged,

"I worry sometimes he thinks by marrying me he can further his career. Like marrying a Senators daughter will help him more in the long run."

"Darling, people get married for all kinds of reasons. It's not always about hearts and flowers. Sometimes you just do what is comfortable." For as modern as my Gram's was, sometimes what she said could be really dated.

"Is that what happened with you and Pop's?" I asked her. Sometimes the subject of my grandfather was really hard for her. So I only broached it when necessary.

"I loved your grandfather. He was my everything but was I madly in love with him initially? No. sadly I wasn't but my parents thought it was a good choice and he was really really cute!" She giggled and blushed like a school girl remembering that time in her life.

"I just need to figure this out. " I told her. She nodded in agreement.

"I got married and I was very happy honey." Grams was just chopping away on some carrots when I handed her a wine glass full of water instead of wine. She eyed my glass closely.

"No." I said to her.

"And just why not. I'm eighty nine years old and I'll have a glass if I want too." she said stubbornly.

"Wine doesn't mix with your pills." I reminded her gently.

"My old pills. I'm on new pills. There's a new doctor in town." I dumped the water down the drain and filled her glass just a little bit. A happy compromise from my No to her I'll do whatever the hell I want too.

"There's a new doctor in town? What happened to Dr. Cullen?" I asked to change the conversation from my woes.

"Oh he's still there but Edward is helping him out for the summer. He's just gotten his medical license." My head was immediately all in this conversation. Edward was back in Forks?

"He's in Forks?" It was still hard to imagine the town bad boy who started fights and egged the prom queen became a doctor. I smiled to myself. One more good reason to be in Forks right now. I had never thought of seeing Edward while I was here. We hadn't spoken since we said goodbye five years ago when I went back east to start college.

"Enough about me. Who is he?" Grams asked. A little known fact about my Grams, she loved men. Don't get me wrong. She was faithful to my grandfather but she was a terrible flirt in her day and still was now.

"His name is Jacob...Jake. I call him Jake. He's Dad's speech writer." and biggest fan. I left that part out. I pulled out my phone and showed Grams a few pictures. I wasn't in any of them nor were we together in any of them. He was beside my dad in every one.

"He's handsome. Of course I never thought he wouldn't be." She winked at me,

"So what's the problem?" she wondered. The oven timer went off. She bent over to get the rolls out. They smelled like carb heaven. I went over to the hutch and got the dishes out to set the table.

"Is it the sex?" She asked then sipped her wine. I nearly dropped the plates.

"Grams!" I wasn't normally shocked my anything she said but that's just not what you expect out of your eighty-something grandmothers mouth.

"Well Bella it's hard to sustain a marriage if there's no action in the bedroom. Your grand father and I were very active right until his heart attack. I do have to say though as you get older all those positions are just not appealing. There's something to be said for vanilla missionary..." My mouth was gaping and I couldn't find the will to close it. I felt like someone slapped me, Then the visuals came.

"Ew yuck...grams...no...ew good god." I gulped down my wine and tried not to gag.

"Gram, the sex is fine. I promise. Just no more about sex, okay?"

"Sex is perfectly natural." I waiting for her to say it and there it was. I sat down at the table.

"It's fine." I said again.

"Well maybe it's not and you just don't know." This was not happening to me. Was she suggesting that my sexual inexperience wouldn't let me know good sex from bad sex? I started to think it over...Man it had been awhile. A long while considering I was in a relationship.  
"Okay subject change!" I commanded. Grams was thankfully quiet for a few moments while I finished setting the table.

"What will you do while your here?" I hadn't really thought about it.

"I dunno. What do you do?" I asked her.

"Well I go to the Garden Club twice a week and I am helping with the founders day celebration planning. I volunteer some at the clinic since poor little Angela Chaney had her baby Dr. Cullen's been without much help. His son tries but filing and answering phones just isn't for him." she rambled.

"Sounds great. I'll just do what you do until you get sick of me." I said smiling.

"We will have so much fun. But right now you need some home cooking. You are to skinny."

"Mom thinks I'm fat."

"Your mother let's people shove needles in her face. Clearly she's not right in the head." and dinner was served.

After a little T.V. Grams went to bed and I went up to my room. I sat down on the edge of the bed and smiled. Edward was in Forks. I curled my fingers into a fist and pressed it against my lips to hide the smile no one could see anyway. I wondered if he'd changed much. Obviously he had grown up a little. So had I.

We met when he was mowing the yard. His Dad was a doctor but all three of the Cullen kids had to have summer jobs. Esme, Edward's adoptive mother, thought it would build character. The sight of him literally took my breath away. I went to an all girls school and I wasn't accustomed to seeing half naked sweaty teenage boys and he was a sight to be hold. I figured out his mowing schedule, Tuesdays he mowed and Thursdays he weeded the flower beds and those days I would conveniently over sleep. My bedroom window over looked the front yard. It was perfect because I could watch him all I wanted with out being caught. I thought I was so slick until one Tuesday Gram's caught me.

"If you want to talk to him Bella. Go talk to him. Don't lurk up here." She said smiling. I shook my head.

"I was definitely not watching the kid mowing the grass. I was just making sure he did a good job." I said casually on my way to the bathroom.

"I'm sure that's all it is." she said.

"That's all it is." I said.

"I appreciate how much you care about my yard, Dear." She was so on to me.

"Just lookin out for you Grams!" I said shutting the bathroom door behind me. I had gotten in and out of the shower and done my daily morning things. I threw my hair up in a messy bun and not bothered with make up since I wasn't going anywhere for the day. I went down the stairs. I didn't hear the mower so I assumed I had missed the end of the show. I pouted momentarily. That was my favorite part. He would wipe the sweat off his forehead and take long drinks of his water bottle. It was the height of sexy in my eighteen year old mind. I was thinking about it a little to intently and then I heard a male laugh come from the kitchen. I put two and two together quickly and tried to run back up the stairs.

"There you are Bella! Come in the kitchen for lunch. We have company." She said politely. I stood on the stairs shaking my head and mouthing "No! No!" I knew I knew nothing about boys. Didn't Gram's know it too? Didn't she realize going to an all girls school had left me ill occupied when dealing with the opposite sex? She grabbed my wrist, dragging me behind her. I went begrudgingly into the kitchen. There sitting at my Gram's battered kitchen table was the yard God himself. He stood up when we came in, like a gentlemen.

"Edward, this is my grand daughter Bella. She's with me until next month when she starts college." He extended his hand and I took it. It felt like sparks were running up and down my arm. I told myself it was my over active imagination. He looked down and let go of my hand sooner then I would of liked.

"I'm going away in the fall. Where are you going?" He asked. His voice was as amazing as the rest of him.

"NYU. I'm majoring in political science." I said. It sounded so lame. Why couldn't I be doing something cool? Like majoring in music theory? That was cool. That was a rockin answer, but what did I have? Political Science.

"What are you majoring in Edward?" Gram's asked shooting me a look that said to close my mouth and wipe the drool off my chin.

"I'm undecided Ma'am. I am thinking Law or Medicine. I think I'd like to see what campus life is like first before I settle into something." I could not stop looking at him. I had to make myself look away before this kid thought I was a total goon.

"That's so level headed Edward. It's good to hear." She smiled brightly at him and handed him a sandwich.

"Well that's me. Mr. Level headed." They both laughed. My brows scrunched together as I realized I wasn't in on the joke. We ate lunch and made polite conversation. When it was over Edward had to leave to go to his next house. He gave me the chin jerk you see on lame sitcoms but from him it was the coolest chin jerk ever.

A few more times came and went where he did the yard work and Grams fed him lunch. He was so polite and sweet. He always complimented her cooking even if it was just a sandwich or reheated left overs. One particular day in June would always stick out in my mind.

We had finished lunch and I was clearing away the dishes as he was preparing to leave.

"Thank you again for lunch Miss. Swan. It's always so good." He smiled at her crookedly. I had my back to him and I was glad because whenever he did that I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest.

"Bella, a few of us are going to La Push tonight for a bon fire. You're more then welcome to join us." I froze. He was actually talking directly to me...gorgeous lawn boy was talking to me. I kept washing the same plate over and over even though it was clean.

"I...um...well..." I had no clue what was coming out of my mouth. I had never been asked on a date before...was it a date? Should I act like it's a date? Would he be taking his shirt off and taking long drinks from some sort of bottle?

"She would love to Edward." Gram's shot me a look like ' Have you lost your mind? Say yes!' and walked Edward to the door. I waited for the door to close behind him before I began the out loud chided of myself.

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Idiot!" I said. Gram's laughed behind me,

"You have a date!" she was excited for me. I wanted to be excited but I was still feeling really stupid.

"It sounds like a group thing to me. Not a date." I decided. I tried to ignore the disappointment.

"I think you should still treat it like a date." Grams said.

"I don't know if dating is a good idea. I'm going back East." Going to an all girls school didn't really give me the opportunity to date. I had never been kissed. I couldn't believe the possibility of both had presented it's self in Forks of all places.

"University of Washington is a great school honey." I couldn't tell if she was serious or teasing me. I knew she always wanted me close. I smiled kissed her cheek and went into the living room to read and try to ignore the nerves brewing in my stomach.

Edward came over around eight. He picked me up and he drove us to the beach. Grams hadn't indicated a curfew but I knew she would trust my judgment. Edward's hair was in it's usual messy style. He looked like maybe he had used some sort of product in it. My fingers itched to touch it and see if it was as soft as I thought it might be. I was glad I had dressed in white shorts and a hunter green cotton halter top. It flowed out in a peasant sort of style. My old roommate would of called it bo ho hippie sheik. I just thought it was comfortable. He made idle conversation with me as we drove. I answered a lot of his questions not really sure if I should offer any of my own. Sometimes without meaning to I would give sort of a sarcastic answer which made him laugh. I really liked his laugh. We walked down to the beach. Edward kept his fists shoved in his pockets, a little smile playing at his lips.

"So I am just wondering...No judgment of course..." He said. I was really nervous all of a sudden.

"Wondering what?" I asked him. I could already feel myself blushing.

"Is this your first date?" his smile broke free. Between his question and that smile I thought my chest might explode.

"No judgment?" I needed reassurance.

"None what so ever." he took his hand out of his pocket and offered it to me. I laid my hand inside his noticing how nice his hands were.

"Yes it is and I wasn't even sure it was one. Seemed more like a group thing." I admitted. We walked up just then to a roaring fire. Beside it was a cooler and two beach towels.

"It's not a group thing." Edward said towing me over to the spot he had set up for us.

"You did all of this?" I wondered out loud. I was touched and shocked. You dont think the guy who egged the prom queen is going to set up bon fire picnics at dusk.

"I had help." he admitted. He spread out the beach towel next to the cooler and sat down. He patted the seat next to him. I sat down too.

"I spent all day thinking this was a group thing. I was nervous. I'm not good with people." I told him.

"I made it sound like a group thing because I didn't know if your grams would let you come other wise. I don't have the best reputation." he handed me a beer and began to roast some hot dogs for us.

"I think you get a bad rap." I told him and smiled. I was so comfortable with him all of a sudden.

"You are the only one." he smiled again and a strange feeling came over me. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to know what that felt like. Not to kiss a guy but to kiss him. I realized then I was staring at him.

"What?" He asked me laughing slightly.

"I just want to try something." I was practically panting. "Don't move." I requested. He nodded slowly.

"Close your eyes." I told him. He nodded again. I went up on my knees, tucking my hair behind my ear and without much other thought I kissed him as softly as I could. To my utter and total surprise he kissed me back. I pulled back after a moment and looked at him. He was blushing. So was I.

"Can I move now?" he asked sarcastically. I nodded. He brought one hand up on either side of my face and kissed me again. This time it was more like a proper kiss. The kind of thing you see at the end of a romantic movie. Automatically my hands went up over his to keep them on my face. I liked that so much. That night we ate and talked. We kissed and walked along the beach. Neither one of us brought up the future. I knew this is all it would ever be. Just a summer but in that one night I knew part of me would never ever be the same because he had entered my world.

A/n- I hope you guys enjoy this. I always enjoy hearing what you think and reading all your kid reviews. This was the first kiss and next chapter we will hopefully be hearing from Edward a bit.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Twilight. I just like to make them do naughty things.

Bella~

I thought by going to Gram's I could out run my nightmares. I was so wrong. This time it was flowers. Hundreds and hundreds of awful smelling, hideously colored flowers. I woke up from the dream at five in the morning feeling more drained then I had when I went to bed the night before. I decided since I was up I would shower and then make breakfast before Gram's could beat me to it. She would never let me cook for her even though I could. I also made a mental note to tidy up the house for her later that day. It was perfectly kept as usual but she wouldn't have to do it if I did. I wanted to take care of Gram's while I was here. I had only been here over night and the visit already felt to short.

While I was in the shower I took a long few moments to contemplate why that was. Was I trying to out run Jake and my parents or was I just running to run? I stepped out of the shower and looked at myself in the large mirror over the sink. Maybe I wasn't the marrying kind. Maybe I was meant to be some nomad gypsy like woman who used men up and spit them out. I looked at myself wrapped in a towel with stringy wet hair and decided I was to plain for a gypsy. Maybe that was my problem. Maybe I was born to plain and lanky to be one of those amazing old Hollywood women who spouted there perfect lines with gorgeous hair and amazing clothes. I was more like the maid that delivered the tea in the scene. The maid with the little curtsey on the way out of the shot. I turned away from the mirror and went to go dress before I made myself feel anymore pathetic.

After I dressed and presentable for the day I went downstairs to make breakfast while Gram's got ready for her day. I didn't know what we would be doing but from the way she was primping in her bathroom it seemed like a big deal. I looked down at my hip hugger jeans and button down shirt hoping I was dressed okay.

Our breakfast was done right as Gram came down the stairs. She looked so pretty and she looked like she tried so hard. Her gray white hair was styled back in a french roll and she was in a black flowered cotton dress. It buttoned with pearl buttons from the neck to the hem. I whistled at her.

"Lookin good Grams!" I said sliding her eggs on to a plate. "What are we doing today that's got you so dressed up?" I wondered. Something was definitely up but I didn't know what. She sat down and I handed her the eggs and a glass of juice.

"I am due at the clinic today then a founders day meeting." she seemed to almost blush for some reason . I sat down across from her, staring at her really.

"Are you wearing make up?" I asked carefully. She flushed for sure this time.

"Well...not much...just a little." I felt a smile creep across my face.

"Gran, are you trying to impress someone? Maybe get a man to notice you?" I inquired carefully.

"No. Certainly not. I just like to look presentable when I volunteer for Dr. Cullen. He's such a nice man and he needs someone who looks there best when patients first come in." she took a gulp of her orange juice.. probably trying to stop the verbal diarrhea she was spewing.

"Gram's if you want to talk about it, we can. You've helped me so many times. I'd love to return the favor." I reached out for her hand just as she looked at the microwave clock.

"Oh my! Look at the time. We've got to go!" She said tossing her napkin on her uneaten eggs. I said I would hang back a few and clean up. She blew me a kiss on her way out the door. I was grateful she was distracted and didn't say she would wait on me. I had to think of something to say to Edward if I saw him.

It sounds silly but I really was nervous. I didn't even think about him still being in Forks when I ran here. It was the farthest thing from my mind but now it was all I could think about. What did he look like? Had life and love been good to him? Did he love someone? I don't know why I was so preoccupied with who he loved. I had a boyfriend. He may not be much of one but we had been together. Longer then Edward and I ever spent together. So why did my time with Edward seem like it was so much more? The memories of those times I spent with Edward felt like a life time, an adolescence lived in weeks not in years as they might have been for other people.

After that first date we were always together. He would mow lawns and help his parents and I would help Gram's but other then that it was him and I. Long walks and longer talks. I learned he was adopted. As were his brother, Emmett and his sister, Alice. You would never know it when they were with each other. Those boys were as protective or more protective than any blood siblings I had ever seen but then again I was an only child. I learned the many ways he got his bad boy reputation around town. You name it he did it. Egged the prom queen. Ditched class. Total smart ass but I could see passed it. Passed the walls he put up to everyone but his family. Deep down he was just a kid whose life started out harder then most. Edward and I never talked about the future. We didn't label ourselves. I would of gladly been his official girlfriend. I never asked but I was sure I wouldn't of been the first. At eighteen you don't think about tomorrow. Hell you barely think in the present. That feeling, first love. It's once in a life time and I wish I had known then that it would never happen again. Maybe I would of savored it more.

My favorite times with Edward were in the backseat of his old Volvo. He would try not to go to far but I always wanted more. I had the hardest time convincing him I was ready. I wanted it to be him. I wanted to lose my virginity to him. He was it because he set every cell in my body on fire. Just holding his hand or seeing him smile made me weak. I didn't want to go to college a virgin and end up losing it to some guy at a party or someone I didn't really know. The only problem was I didn't know how to ask him, tell him I wanted that.

At first I thought I would just let nature run it's course. We went out one night. It was dark and late. We were laying in the field behind his back yard. His parents lived on the river. It was so beautiful at night. I kissed him first, soft and slow. He caressed my face, gently pushing my hair away. He rolled partially on top of me. Edward ran his hand down my calf hitching my leg up over his hip. I kissed him harder, trying to undo the buttons on his shirt with shaking hands. Suddenly he pulled back. Eyes lidded and lips swollen he asked me what I was doing. I blushed brightly then he understood.

"Bella, no. not like this." he sat up re-buttoning his shirt. I propped myself on my elbows.

"Why not? It's a beautiful night." I said trying not to feel rejected.

"Honey, not like this. Not with my parents 100 feet from us and your grams wondering where you are." he said gently.

"I don't mind." I said quietly. I sat up Indian style pretending to pick grass from my hair so I didn't have to look at him.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I didn't say anything else.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked. I couldn't say anything. If I did I might of started crying. I didn't want him to sleep with me because I was crying. Finally after a few long moments I said something.

"Is it me?" I asked slowly.

"No! Oh god, No!" he ran his hand through his hair and sighed,

"trust me. I want too. I've wanted to since our first kiss but it has to be special. If we did it tonight it would just be convenient. You deserve more than that." He caught my chin with his hand bringing my face up for him to see. I knew it was the end of that discussion for now but not forever because by the end of summer I was going to lose it to Edward Cullen.

Edward~

For all the wrong I'd done in my life, Forks Washington was my punishment. After everything I had done in this town I had to come back here and do something for the community and for my parents. If helping with my father's medical practice was the only way to repay them then so be it. The work didn't bother me. Living with my parents didn't bother me. Maybe that was the problem recently, I didn't care enough to be bothered. I was just floating along going where ever I was told to go.

It was all very typical. I worked. I went home. Went to the social functions I was invited too. Some weekends I went to Seattle and visited my Brother. Most of the time I spent working or trying to ward off Tanya Denali's advances. My mother thought I should go out with her. If for no other reason then to develop some sort of social life. My heart wasn't in it. I had dated a little in college. Mostly just slept around. Nothing stable. I had stable once and even that wasn't officially stable. It was what my sister called a "summer romance". She claimed it was the kind of thing girls never forget. I couldn't forget it either. You aren't likely to forget the girl who turned your life inside out.

Bella was everything that summer. From the moment I laid eyes on her I knew I had to know her. She was the first girl I ever let close to me. It's not like the girls in Fork's were knocking down the door of the kid who ditched school and egged the prom queen. Which I'm still not sorry about because she was mean to my sister. I'll be the first to admit I wasn't the maturest of guys back then. Bella was the first girl who ever caught my attention and kept it. I was fascinated by her. Her laugh. Her smile. The way her eyebrows knit together when there was something she was trying to understand. On top of everything else she let me be myself in a way that I had only experienced with my family. She told me once that she was more herself in five weeks with me then she had been for her entire life with her parents. She told me that the night of the founders day festival, after the dance. We danced and kissed. We went to her gram's house knowing it was empty. It was unspoken between us. She had been trying for weeks to get me into bed. A part of me liked it. I liked the teasing, the waiting. Every moment we were together was like extended foreplay. Whether it was dinner with my parents or going to a movie we were always touching but I knew in a few days she was leaving and I didn't want my first time to be with anyone but her. It started to rain while we walked home from the dance. When we arrived at her house I got a fire going and she went to get us some towels. I stood in front of the fire place with my back to the doorway. I wanted something to happen tonight but I didn't know how to make it happen. It was confusing and exciting and nerve racking all at the same time. My hands were trembling when she handed me a towel. Her hair hung in dark wet ringlets around her face and down her back. The tank top she was wearing clung to her in all the right places. I must of stared a moment to long because she noticed.

"What?" she asked cautiously. I wanted to tell her the truth. I loved her. I had from the moment I laid eyes on her. Instead I closed the small distance between us kissing her deeply. Trying to convey every emotion I felt in that kiss. She did the same. We fell together to the floor in a tangle of arms and legs, our lips never parting. She fumbled with my shirt and I stripped hers soaking wet from her creamy white skin. She trembled under my palms when I released her bra.

"Are you cold?" I asked softly. I touched her cheek. Stroking her cheek bone gently with my thumb. I wanted to save this moment in my mind forever.

"I've never been warmer in my life." she smiled. I kissed her again easing her down on to her back so I could get her shorts off. She reached between us and fumbled with my jeans. It took a moment but we made it through. I kissed down her cheek and then her neck. Moving down her body to kiss all the parts of her I had never seen but always wanted too. Her back arched beneath me when I claimed a nipple in my mouth. She ran her fingers into my hair tugging on it at the roots.

"Edward, please?" she moaned. I quickly decided it was the best thing I'd ever heard and wanted her to do it again.

"Please what?" I moved to her other nipple claiming it harder then the other. She moaned again. I smiled into her skin.

"Make love to me." she said with no shyness at all. I didn't have to be asked twice. I lifted my head, locking eyes with her. My hand ran down her thigh bringing it over my hip. She brought her other leg around me. I moved into her slowly. Loving how wet she was but also terrified that I would hurt her. I went into her little by little. She moaned with every inch. I was watching her face intently to make sure I wasn't hurting her. Some how she just knew.

"Edward, I'm okay." she admitted breathlessly. I smiled,

"Yeah?" I said softly.

"Yeah." she said running her delicate hands over my bare chest. Against the fire light, her hair fanned out around her. She looked like an angel. My angel. I felt her clinch around me. I moved into her again and again. She was calling my name softly as she came undone around me. I couldn't wait anymore and I came too.

Afterwords we laid there silently, her head on my chest and our fingers intertwined. Neither one of us said much. She was smiling from ear to ear which made me smile back. Soon after I had to get dressed and go home before I was missed. Bella dressed in her clothes sans her panties and bra. She walked me to the door still smiling from ear to ear.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" she wondered. I tucked my finger under her chin and kissed her gently.

"The sooner the better. I'll miss you." I told her my lips inches from hers. I wanted to tell her I loved her. That she was the only one. I was sure of it.

"I'll miss you." she replied.

The next day it was even ten in the morning before I started over to her house. I had my plan ready. I was just going to tell her I loved her and I could do long distance if she could. I would tell her the summer could never be enough for me because she was forever and that's what I wanted. My brother tried to convince me to wait a day. Wait and see if this feeling wore off. He thought it was losing my virginity that brought this on. He said girls from big cities never fall for guys like us. I told him he was wrong. That Bella was different. He just shook his head.

When I got to her house I saw a black stretch limo in the drive way. I stopped immediately. This wasn't happening. We had another week I saw her father come out first wearing a three piece suit and five hundred dollar shoes. I looked down at my own converses. Grass stained and worn. I saw her mother next. She was short like Bella but overly styled in a suit I am sure cost more then my car. I looked down at my own beat up shorts and weathered gray shirt. Then I saw Bella. She was wearing a white eyelet sundress. Her hair swept back away from face. She looked like an angel. She was crying and clinging to her grandmother. Her mother stood by the car and called for her. Bella whispered something to her Grams. I stepped behind a tree before she could see me. I knew then I didn't deserve her. I wasn't good enough for her. She was used to luxury and money. My parents weren't poor but who was I to ask her to wait for me when there was nothing I could offer her. I told myself then and there that I would be something. I would make right on the things I'd done wrong some how and even if we never saw each other again, I would know she'd be proud of me.

So, I fast tracked college and medical school to go home and work for my father like he'd always wanted. It was the least I could do after all I put them through. I would probably end up dating Tanya to make my mother happy. I would hang out with my sister and go visit my brother in a few weeks. But until then I would sit at this desk in my office reading patient history's. I heard the bell ring over the office door.

"I'm sorry I'm so late Gram's. I cleaned up a little and took the trash out." my head snapped up immediately. I would know that voice anywhere.

"Oh that's alright darling. You shouldn't have." I stepped out of my office and into the reception area.

"Edward! There you are darling. You remember my grand daughter Bella?" She said sweetly.

"I don't think I could ever forget." our eyes met. She smiled. And I started losing it all over again.

A/n- sorry for my absence. I've been busy and went through a lot of personal crap. Hopefully i'm back now. Please read and review! I've missed reviews so much! also this wasnt beta'd. I know I know I suck.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer- I don't own twilight. I just wish I did.

Edward~

I opened my mouth to speak but the words wouldn't come. Before I knew it my mother and father entered the scene and soon any conversation I would have started was gone in the moment.

"Bella! Oh my goodness dear. It's been ages!" My mother cooed with delight. Bella had always had a special place in my mom's heart. A place I wasn't sure any other woman would fill. She wrapped her arms around Bella tightly. Bella did the same with a huge smile on her lovely face.

They made conversation until my father cut in and demanded his hug as well, then the chattering continued. I was grateful for a moment because as long as they were talking I could stare at her unnoticed.

She wasn't so different from the last time I saw her. Still the same big brown eyes, now it looked as if she had taken to wearing light eye make-up. Our summer she rarely wore any. Her hair was more styled now and longer. She had it braided over one shoulder with a bit in the front framing her face. Her skin was still pale as fresh cream. Outwardly she was still my Bella. My mother said something that made her smile. My heart melted a little against my will.

"Edward, wouldn't that be lovely?" Mom commented.

"huh?" I said lamely.

Mom smiled, "I was just saying how nice it would be for Bella to attend the garden party." she was urging me to do something with her eyes. The kind of look a mother gives you when she wants you do say the right thing. My upbringing should have told me what the right thing was. Instead she got,

"Party?" I realized what she was talking about a moment later. My parents were hosting a small garden party for the founder's celebration committee. Of course I knew. I mentally kicked myself for being an idiot.

"Since Bella will still be here on vacation, wouldn't it be nice if she joined us?" my mother urged me again with her eyes. Still looking at Bella all I could muster was,

"Uh huh." My poor mother looked like she had given up on me completely.

"I'd love too. Count me in." she smiled again. I wanted to clutch my chest and tell my heart to get a grip.

"Ruth I can't believe you didn't mention Bella's visit. I would have demanded you take some time off." My father said to her in mock irritation.

"I was surprised as well. Although it was a happy coincidence that Bella's visit fell the same time as the celebration and the dance." Ruth said lightly. When the dance was mentioned Bella blushed brightly. She remembered.

"I thought the dance was in the summer months." Bella added to the conversation. She appeared to be a lot more confident then she was when we met. It suited her.

"It is honey but sadly we had to move it. Heavier rain prediction this year." Mom said.

"So now it's just one big event?" she wondered. The blush was fading from her cheeks and she was trying not to stare at me like I was openly staring at her.

"Yes, the fish fry followed the next morning by the pancake breakfast then the carnival and the next night the closing dance. Led by none other than your Grams and Quil Sr." Mom was so good at planning. She had the whole thing in her head with no notes. She probably could of ran the whole thing single handily.

"Wow well if there's anything I can do to be of help just let me know." Bella offered, Still so sweet, so kind, So incredibly gorgeous.

"I am sure we can find something for you to do dear." Mom said. Bella smiled sweetly at my parents. The office phone began to ring. My father cleared his throat once, then again and a then a third time. I wanted to move, I wanted to answer that phone but I couldn't stop staring. Staring and not speaking. This was going wonderfully. Every fantasy I had ever had about seeing her again went just like this, not really. I was so much cooler then this in my own little world. I could talk and articulate and not stand here with my mouth open like a damn idiot! Briefly I heard my father making arrangement's to go out to the reservation for a house call. The ladies were laughing and making plans to meet up at the founder's day meeting.

"Well my darling it looks like I am going to have to rain check that lunch. Edward and I are needed at the reservation." My father looked apologetically at my mother. She was used to this and never complained. Helen went sheet white briefly.

"Is everything alright Carlisle?" Helen asked. Bella's expression turned to one of confusion.

"Fine, just fine, Old Quil is just a little tired today. I offered to come to him instead." Dad said. Helen looked disappointed and Bella noticed.

"Helen we insist you take the rest of the afternoon off. Take this beautiful girl out to lunch." Mom offered.

"Come on Gram's, I'll make us some lunch. We can _talk_ before the meeting…." Bella said. They said goodbye to my parents and as she was almost out the door she turned to me.

"It was nice to see you Edward." Bella smiled slightly and was out the door behind her grams. The door shut softly.

"Bye Bella." I said finally. My father laughed. My mother touched my shoulder gently

"You will do better next time Son." She said. The next time I would be prepared. I would be cool, calm, a grown man with a medical degree and not the doofus she just encountered. I would absolutely have to do better.

Bella~

He was everything I imagined he would be but also he seemed angry.

"He wasn't angry baby. He was probably caught off guard. He didn't know you were coming." Grams said on our walk to the meeting later that day. I supposed she was right. Maybe I would see him again and we could talk then. Maybe I could apologize for whatever I did to make him angry if he was. More than anything I just wanted to talk to him.

"You can't avoid the subject forever Gram's." I told her. She was avoiding my questioning about Old Quil and her concern for him.

"He's been my friend since I was just a girl and a good friend of your grandfathers." Her face softened slightly, "A very sweet man."

"Do you like him?" I questioned jokingly.

"I am far too old for a crush if that's what you are getting at." Grams turned on to a perfectly manicured brick path. The front door opened before we could knock. My gram's introduced me to Carmen and when we were inside she introduced me to the other ten or so members of the committee. The two youngest members were Tanya Denali and Alice Cullen, Who greeted me with a big hug then she pulled me down next to her.

"How are you? My mom said you were here. I was really hoping I would see you. Are you joining the committee? You should totally join my committee we are proposing a lot of cool retro booths for the carnival. The theme is an old fashioned fair! It will be so fun! I am so glad you're here!" she hugged me again. I only caught part of what she said. I looked for Gram's at the other end of the sofa. She shrugged.

"Uh sure Alice. I'll join your committee. I'm really glad to see you too." I looked down at my lap briefly and smiled. If Edward and I had worked out she would have been my sister in law. I always liked Alice. She was different then most of the girls around town. She was free spirited, from the way she dressed to her still short spiky black hair. What she lacked in height she made up for in personality and wits. She was a sweet girl and different from my friends in Washington. I was glad to see her. I was pulled my thoughts when I began to pay attention to Grams leading the meeting. Alice was called up in front of the group to endorse her idea. She explained she wanted to get back to the way the old carnivals used to be. I briefly looked at the girl next to me, Tanya. Strawberry blonde hair, pale skin, make up beautifully applied. She was flawless. The kind of girl I always wished I was. She passed around pictures and sign-up sheets to work each booth. I signed a few lines without looking at what I was signing up for. I think Tanya was doing the same. She didn't seem very interested.

"I think this is going to be a lot of fun." I was attempting to make conversation with Tanya as I handed back the clip board to Alice.

"Not as fun as having her brother in my bed." Tanya said slyly.

"Oh? Emmett?" I wondered softly to her, momentarily enjoying the girl talk. Emmett was nice looking from what I remembered. He was a big, big guy with short dark hair and brown eyes. All muscle, football player in high school and college. He was hot, I suppose if you like that sort of thing. Tanya signed a few more papers and I did the same. She clicked her tongue gently and whispered,

"No honey, no. Emmett's long gone. I've had him anyway. I'm going for the pair." She winked at me. I didn't understand.

"The pair?" I looked up to see Alice had collected most of the sign-up sheets and were waiting for the last two from Tanya and myself. I signed the last line and handed it back. Then it hit me. she meant Edward.

"Oh Bella and Tanya, thank you both so much. I promise it won't be all old geezer's and cheeks are totally appropriate if you get uncomfortable." Alice said reassuringly.

"Huh?" I said not getting it fully.

"We signed up for the kissing booth silly." Tanya informed me. I blushed wildly as the room applauded us and our selflessness. Edward was angry with me. Tanya wanted to sleep with Edward and I apparently was going to kiss every old guy in Forks. Today was shaping up to be great.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

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_Before the carnival meeting…._

Alice-

I have never been one for convention. It never made any sense to me. Why be like everyone else when you could be like you? Of course on the other hand this also got me picked on a lot in high school. It was no surprise to the town of Forks when my brother began getting in trouble for coming to my defense. Edward was a sensitive soul, Escpially when it came to his family. There was no way he was going to let me get picked on. My other brother Emmett had his own way of handling things. He was more quiet about it then Edward. If Edward was going to do it, it might as well be a spectacle for the whole town to see. I could never find a way to thank him for all he did for me until now.

I love it when an opportunity presents itself. In these serendipitous moments of true cosmic gifting what else can you do but take the sign you've been given and run with it. This is exactly what happened to me one rainy morning.

I was watching "The view" while leaning on the counter in my parents kitchen and drinking a cup of coffee. They were discussing spring style so naturally everything must stop so I could watch. Paying no attention to the opening of the back door I continued to be intrigued by the debate of rhinestone toed flats or booties for this springs runway shows.

"Mary Alice Cullen!" My mother finally gained my attention by throwing a wadded piece of yellow note book paper at my head. I snapped out of my shoe trance quickly and got with it.

"Sorry Mom. What's up?" I asked smiling. She wasn't really mad at me for being shoe tranced. She was used to it.

"Now honey you know I am not one to idly gossip." She said demurely. I love my mom. She really wasn't a gossip, unless it was about one of my brothers. Then it wasn't really gossiping. It was an over flow of information that caused motherly worry. I was always more than ready to help her unburden her heavy mind. I poured her a cup of coffee and slid it to her.

"Which one is it? Emmett or Edward?" I asked rolling my eyes just a little. Emmett was busy with his business in Seattle. He was busy working and not dating but would sleep with any blonde that stayed still long enough. He worried my mother horribly. She begged him to stop working so much and find a nice girl to have babies with. Babies, houses and luxury suv's are not high on Emmett's priority list. Edward on the other hand was busy doing nothing at all. That worried Mom more than Emmett's sleeping around. He got up every day, went to work, came home and did it all over again with rare exception. It was a well-known fact that Edward was very single and aside from living with my parents, which I'm guilty of also, he's very eligible. We all wanted him to be happy. We wanted him to find someone who would make him see there's more to life then work and more work. He needed his life shaken and stirred a little!

"Oh it's Edward." She replied with a snicker and took a sip of her coffee. My interest was peaked. What could he have done to make her snicker like that?

"You've got me interested. What happened?" I asked while moving over to sit down on a tall kitchen barstool.

"Well this morning everything was moving right along. Edward and your father are seeing patients. Helen was answering phones. The usual." She said sitting down her purse and taking off her pumps to move about the kitchen.

"Sounds standard." I said confused.

"That's the point. Everything was just fine until the door opened and there stood Bella Swan." A huge smile spread across my mom's face. My mom and I regarded Bella as the true love of Edwards's life. It may have only been a month but sometimes that's all it takes to turn your world upside down. He was never the same.

"You are kidding me!" I said practically leaping from my stool.

"Absolutely not, I wouldn't! And oh Alice she's just gotten prettier." my mom said. She filled me in quickly on how the scene unfolded or rather didn't unfold.

"So she's standing there basically begging him to say something? Anything? And he just stands there with his mouth open like an idiot? Oh lord! Have I taught him nothing?" I said slapping my hand on my forehead. Mom laughed,

"Well I tried to help him. I invited her to the garden party and tried to get her involved in the carnival. She said she would be happy to help but I'm afraid it will be a waste if Edward doesn't begin speaking or at least making hand gestures." Mom sipped her coffee and brushed caramel colored hair from her eyes.

"We have to help him! She got away once, she can't get away again." I sprang up and went over to my mom. I placed my hands on her shoulders and began to gently shake,

"What if this is it? What if this is Edward's one shot at happiness? We have to help him!" I practically shouted. Mom smiled down at me,

"We will darling. We just have to be patient. Everything will work out. " I knew her words were true. Fate would intervene one way or the other eventually but until then there wasn't anything wrong with steering it in the right direction.

"Alice, you've got that look." Mom said. I turned from her momentarily.

"What look?" I said innocently.

"The look that says you are about to interfere with your brother's life." She was on to me.

"I'm um going to finish my sign-up sheets for the carnival. I'll meet you there. "I chirped exiting the kitchen as gracefully as I could manage. Edward had helped me more time then I could count. It was time that I helped him the only way I could. I was going to meddle in his love life!

A/n- Thank you for all the reviews and favorites and follows! I love getting them. Review and let me know what you think of Alice. She's gonna have her fingers in a little of everything from here on out.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

I searched my bags endlessly. I hadn't planned to attend a party while I was in Forks and I was quickly finding I had nothing appropriate to wear. I put my hands on my hips, groaning loudly to myself.

"Find anything?" Grams asked from my bedroom doorway. I sighed and plopped down in my old rocking chair,

"No. Maybe I just won't go. It's not really my thing anyway. The Cullen's just invited me to be polite." I was almost resolute in my decision. It would be better this way. I wouldn't have to face Edward's anger if I stayed home. Grams waived her aged hand at me,

"Nonsense, come with me." She turned and left my doorway. She shuffled down the hall way to her own room. She wasn't feeling well today. I could tell it was her arthritis. I knew because she was using her cane. I moved up next to her to help but she waived me off. Inside her room I sat down on the bed while she rummaged around in her closet.

"Now in here somewhere I know I have at least a few things that might work for you. Your Grams was a pretty spiffy dresser in her day and I am sure I kept something." She called from inside. I smiled,

"You have something because you never throw anything away!" I leaned back on my elbows looking up at the ceiling. When I was younger I would lie on my belly and watch Gram's iron my grandfather's uniforms. She liked to do it in front of the window because that way she could still see the sunshine on the rare occasion there was any in Forks.

"You're absolutely correct. I don't throw anything away. Clothes always come back into style. You just wait and see." She said. I smiled.

"Oh yes. I am sure any day now we are going to see lycra stretch pants on the runways in Paris and Milan." I called to her.

"Bella Marie do not get fresh with me." she was trying to be serious but I could hear the laughter in her voice.

"Yes Maam." I answered playing along. She came out a few moments later, 2 garment bags draped over her arms. I took them from her and laid them side by side on the bed.

"These are from my more social days. Your Grand dad and I we used to be movers and shakers around here. Got invited to a few fancy things every now and then." She unzipped both bags as she talked. I looked down in astonishment as she produced two really lovely vintage gowns. One was black with a skirt that bubbled at the waist. It was sleeveless and the skirt hit me about mid knee when she held it against me. The other dress was very very sixties. It was yellow with lime green trim and it went all the way to the floor. Grams frowned at it,

"Whatever was I thinking?" she said and made an ugly face. She zipped the bag back up then turned back to me.

"What do you think? I am sure it will fit and if not then we can go shopping." I was going to make this dress work. I didn't want her spending money on me and she really wasn't up for a lengthy car ride.

I undressed down to my bra and panties then got the dress over my head. Grams zipped me up. Like a miracle, it fit me perfectly. I turned so Grams could see the front. She clapped happily.

"What year did you wear this?" I asked as I went in the closet to find the matching shoes I knew were in there.

"Oh sometime in the sixty's I'm sure. It was a wonderful time then. A few couples in town would take turn hosting supper parties. We would take all the kids and let them play in the rec room or what have you while the adults ate dinner then someone would put on a record and we'd dance and dance. " I could hear the nostalgia in her voice. It sounded like a great time. I came out of her closet with a pair of black heels and went over to her full length mirror. I looked at the outfit as a whole and smiled. Crisis averted. Gram's came up behind me, rubbing my upper arms.

"Perfect." She said smiling. It made me want to cry. She thought I was perfect. She started talking about the pearls and broach that went with the dress. She told me to get out of it and when I did she went to work rolling my hair the way they did when my dress, Gram's dress was new.

When it came time to leave for the party Gram's wasn't up for it and I was on my own. I thought all afternoon as she did my hair and nails about Edward. I didn't understand his anger and I really didn't want him to be angry with me. Maybe if I could apologize we could be friends. The thought of it was foreign to me but I was willing to try if he'd let me.

When I arrived everything was already in full swing. It looked like most of the town was here and dressed in their best. This was a real occasion for Forks.

"Bella! You look lovely." Esme greeted me with a light kiss on the cheek and her ever warm smile. I forced a smile back. She stepped back to admire my dress. When my own mother did this it resulted in criticism usually. I braced for it and when it didn't come I was pleasantly surprised.

"I love this dress. Vintage?" She inquired as Carlisle joined us. I laughed,

"Straight from Gram's closet, I didn't pack for a party." I forced a smile at Edward's parents.

"You could make a hefty bag look glamorous my dear." Carlisle added. I blushed and faked a laugh. They excused themselves to greet there other guests. Alice appeared a few moments later with a glass of champagne and a huge hug. She offered to introduce me around so arm and arm we went.

For over an hour I sipped the same glass and made endless small talk while Alice moved me from room to room. Most of the families I knew of but hadn't gotten a chance to really talk to in my short visits here. When we moved out into the back yard I saw him. I had pretended this whole time when Alice was moving me from room to room that I wasn't secretly looking for Edward. He was dashing in a gray suit, his white shirt had the first two buttons undone and he wore no tie. I felt over heated for a moment. He wasn't the boy from my past. He was a grown man now. He noticed me at the moment I noticed him. To my relief he smiled and excused himself from the conversation he was having with Tanya Denali.

" I'm going to mingle. You have a good time." Alice said in her best sing song voice. I couldn't react before Edward was right in front of me.

"Hi." He said and smiled. I smiled,

"Hey. I wanted to apologize for the other day." I slid a piece of hair behind my ear nervously. He looked confused,

"Apologize? For what? You didn't do anything." He said. Instant relief washed over me

"You seemed angry." I said. He laughed,

"Stunned. I was stunned. Not the person I was expecting to see that day." Over his shoulder I could see Tanya getting visibly angry.

"I think your exit has upset your girlfriend. " I said nodding over his shoulder. He turned slightly and grimaced.

"Not my girlfriend." He whispered to me like a secret. I laughed a real laugh feeling more free then I had since I stepped off the plane.

"Do you maybe want to get out of here and catch up?" he asked me. Did I ever. He excused himself for a minute or two and came back with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"Let's go." He said softly. I sat my empty glass down,

"Where are we going?" I wondered out loud as I followed him. He half grinned at me and I knew. We were going down to the dock.

The dock was one of mine and Edward's favorite places that summer. It wasn't anything special to anyone else, just a wooden dock on the Cullen's property but to two teenagers in a town this small it was somewhere to go to be sort of alone. For the first hour we sat and made polite chit chat. Sipping wine and just generally I think enjoying each other's company with our legs dangling over the edge. We went back and forth with asking about college and careers.

"Where have you traveled so far? Did you ever make it to summer in Italy?" he asked. I blushed secretly loving that he remembered one of the very first things I ever shared with him, my love and need to travel.

"Nope. I wish. I got so busy with the family business I hardly made it anywhere." I admitted. He chuckled,

"You finally get to go somewhere and you come to Forks? I'm flattered!" he said. I think he's flirting with me, or attempting too.

"I came to see my Gram's. I thought you'd be traipsing through Africa with Doctors without borders by now." One of Edward's dreams was to travel with Doctors without Borders. He mentioned it to me several times even before he had decided to major in science and eventually become a doctor.

"like you said, family business. There's good to be done here too. Last week I delivered a baby on the reservation and today I delivered medicine to a family that was in need." He said. We chatted some more idly. Sometimes discussing the most mundane of things and other times to my surprise, the most important.

"I saw you the day you left you know." He said softly after his third glass of wine and my fourth.

"I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye. There just wasn't time." I said looking in his eyes. Everything else on Edward was a little older, much sexier from his hair to his feet but his eyes were the same youthful, playful green.

"I know. It's okay. I do have to thank you though." He took my hand from my lap gently and held it in his own. The sensation was electric. I took a moment to catch my breath and think before I spoke again.

"Thank me? for what?" I wondered honestly.

"You inspired me. I wanted to be the person I was whenever you looked at me." his voice was gentle. The night insects sang there song and his brother's old fishing boat beat against the dock in rhythm with the lake.

"And what person was that?" I asked. He scooted a little closer to me and I to him.

"Like I was everything. Like I belonged with someone as perfect as you. Even with all my faults and all the trouble I caused." He leaned in close like he might kiss me. The earth stopped. The lake stopped. He was inches from my lips, eyes half closed. My heart was going to beat out of my chest, my eyes closed of their own accord and just when I knew his lips were finally going to touch mine, I heard Tanya walking down the path.

"There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere. Your mom is looking for you. The paper wants a photo. "I took the time when she was talking to breath deep and gain control of myself again. I shouldn't of been wanting to kiss him or for him to kiss me. It was stupid, crazy and extremely ill advised but maybe that's why I wanted it so badly. I slipped my shoes back on as she walked away. Edward helped me up and grabbed our things. I stumbled a little and he corrected me by placing a hand on the small of my back.

"If you'll wait a moment I'll drive you home." He was clearly worried I had had too much wine. I started to tell him I was fine but he insisted.

We drove the small distance to Gram's house in almost perfect silence. It would have been perfect if I could of gotten my brain to shut up about the almost kiss. The kiss that was stupid and so wreck less. The kiss I wanted so badly I would have given up my next breath to have it to do over again. We pulled on to the street and I decided it was too quiet. One of us had to say something.

"You know what's amazing?" I said turning my head to face him.

"What's that?" he asked turning off the engine on the drive way. All the lights were off. Gram had gone to bed.

"How even after a long time you can see someone again and it's like meeting them for the first time." I earned a smile from him as he came to open my door. Not a gesture I was used too from a guy who my father wasn't paying. He walked me to the door in silence like a gentlemen. It struck me again how mature he was now but still the guy I remembered. He leaned down unexpectedly and whispered,

"I was enchanted to meet you." He kissed my cheek for a long moment then started to walk home. He paused a moment at the end of the drive way, waiting to make sure I got inside and locked the door.

Once safely in my room I let go and did one good long celebratory dance around while I was still blushing with butterflies in my stomach. I got ready for bed and for the first time in forever I had a night I didn't really want to end. I didn't want to take my hair down. I didn't want to wash my make up off. I wanted it to keep going, for him to magically appear at my door and finish what we started on the dock. Part of me, a very small part felt bad. I had a boyfriend. I shouldn't be feeling this way for someone else. In truth it was a way I had never felt about Jake or anyone else. Just Edward. If I could feel this way for Edward after all this time and never feel it for Jake was it right to keep calling what we were a relationship? I had to be honest with myself, no it wasn't. I knew that first thing in the morning I had to talk to Jake. But for the rest of the night I laid in bed replaying the night over and over again but most of all his final words to me, "I was enchanted to meet you."

A/n- Thanks for being so patient and kind during this round of writers block. Please show some love and review. It honestly does make life easier and the world lovelier.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

The next morning I sat on the side of my bed trying to focus on the right thing to say and not think about when I would see Edward again.

"Jake I feel….I feel like we've been leading separate lives for a while now and I can't do it anymore. You deserve a girl who wants the things you want and I don't anymore. I hope one day we can be friends. I'm sorry that it happened this way." His voicemail beeped and ended my call. I had tried 7 times before this and after replaying all of them and decided none of them sounded right. I laid my phone on the bed next to me and closed my eyes. For a moment I took long deep breaths. I wasn't sad. There were no tears in my eyes or tremble to my lips. I just wanted a moment to breath. Before long my parents would know along with the D.C social scene and the calls would start. Jessica would want to know why we broke up and all the details. Mother would tell me I had made a huge mistake and I was throwing my beautiful perfect wedding away. He had never asked me to marry him and seeing as how we hadn't been spending much time together I hardly think that was on his mind at all. I was a place holder to him. Senator Swan's daughter and I didn't want to be a place holder anymore. I wasn't sure what exactly it was a I did want but I knew it wasn't that.

I went downstairs to begin breakfast and found Gram's in the middle of the morning paper. The headline on the cover was about the marvelous garden party from the night before along with a picture of the Cullen's. I kissed her cheek and said good morning before making myself a cup of coffee. At home I drank it black because of mother but here where there was no judgment I put three big spoonful's of sugar and a generous splash of vanilla creamer. Gram's closed her paper on the table and folded her hands.

"I heard you on the phone this morning….I didn't mean to hear but I did. Would you like to talk?" She was worried, I could tell. I wasn't upset about it. I would have talked to her about it eventually anyway.

I sat down with her and brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

"I broke up with Jake. I wasn't in it anymore and I don't think he was either." I said to her. She nodded in understanding.

"Baby whatever makes you happy is the right thing. You know your mother is going to be upset." She said. I rolled my eyes

"Yep. I'm not gonna answer the phone for a couple days. I don't want to deal with her right now. That's bad right? Not wanting to deal with my own mom?"

Gram's smiled and gave a little laugh,

"Normally I would say yes but since I've met your mother and I know she's nuts I say let her phone calls slide a couple days. It won't hurt her or you to have some space that isn't just geographical." I couldn't have agreed with her more. I stood up and went to the fridge. I got some eggs and sausge out.

"No breakfast for me honey. I've got to get moving. Early meeting.." She said and started getting her things together.

"Meeting for what?" I asked her. She thought for a moment with a strange look on her face,

"Pancakes. It's a pancakes meeting." She said. I was lost.

"Pancakes? You mean the pancake breakfast? For the founder's celebration?" I said slowly. It wasn't like her to get confused.

"Oh yes! Pancake breakfast! Lots to plan. Lots to do!" she smiled brightly shuffling to the door.

"Wait a minute and I'll change and go with you." I called after her. She opened the front door and waved,

"No No. You eat and then meet Alice over at the grounds. They are building booths today. You'll be a great help to her." She blew me a kiss and away she went. I saw her pull her cell out of her bag when she was down the porch. It was turning out to be a strange morning.

I made it over to the grounds and intended to join the small group constructing booths. It looked like it was mostly done when I got there. I got out of the car as Tanya pulled up next to me. she got out wearing a very short skirt and very high heels. She pushed her sunglasses up on her head as she waived at me.

"Hey hon!" she said a little too sickly sweet for my taste. I smiled back and gave a muted "hey." She walked over and immediately gave me what can only be described as an awkward hug.

"Oh honey I am so sorry about last night. I didn't know you were after Edward. I mean after all this time. I just think it's real sweet that you think he'd still have those feelings for you too." She pulled back rubbing my shoulders gently.

"We were just talking and then he drove me home. That's all." I was feeling very awkward all of a sudden. She stuck her lower lip out in a frown.

"Oh wells that's good then. No hard feelings between us then." She said. I raised an eyebrow at her.

"None at all but why would there be? You guys aren't together, right?" Edward said they weren't together. What if I had miss read all the signals? What if he wasn't thinking of me the way I had been thinking about him?

"Not yet. It's only a matter of time though. His mother has been after us for months to go out. He's resisting but he can't hold out forever." She smiled devilishly.

"BELLA!" Alice called to me. she had awesome timing. I made my goodbyes to Tanya and made a bee line to Alice. She greeted me with a warm smile. Tanya went off in the opposite direction, thankfully.

"What was that all about?" Alice asked softly. I shrugged.

"She thinks I'm after Edward and she's got some kind of claim to him." I told her. Alice flipped through the pages on her clip board. She looked at me from the corner of her eye,

"You aren't?" she asked. She handed me some papers while I shifted awakrdly from one foot from the other.

"I'm not what?" I half-heartedly looked over the papers. They were decorating instructions for two booths. The kissing booth and one of those pop the wall balloon's games.

"After Edward." She smiled a little like she liked the idea.

"We've seen each other twice. One time he didn't talk and last night all we did was talk." I said following after Alice as she walked over to a row of boxes full of decoration's. She handed me two of them and under her breath she said something about moves.

"What?" I asked her. she smiled brightly.

"Nothin at all. You'll be workin on booths four and five. Your partner's already over there. Better scoot." She turned on her heel and started giving directions to other volunteer's.

I walked over to my booths. Four was already done and five was having the roofing shingles nailed on by none other than a very well sculpted and sweat covered Edward Cullen.

A/n- Sorry this took so long. I was blocked and also short on time. I don't have a beta so no judgment and I hope you enjoy it. If you love it review. If you don't I'll assume you hate it and cry. Also if anybody out there want's to make a manip photo for this story I'd love it and find it really inspiring. Following me on twitter under fanfictrips.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Be rich if I did.

Chapter 8

Words cannot express the depth to which I adore my sister this morning. I was a little upset when she came into my bedroom at six in the morning and announced I would be building booths for the carnival on my one day off but now I see Bella is my partner and all is forgiven. I laid awake most of the night moving between kicking myself for not kissing her, remembering what it was like to kiss her and hoping that no one in D.C. was kissing her. I wanted to know but I didn't want to ask. It wasn't my business, but, it didn't change the fact that I really wanted to know.

Bella was beautiful in the morning light. Her hair was up off her slender neck and shoulders and she smiled to herself while she worked hanging white Christmas lights on one of the booths. We hadn't said much. I was trying not to stare at her but it was really difficult. She stopped for a minute and pushed herself up on the front counter of the booth.

"Edward, can I ask you something?" She said. Immediately having my full attention I stopped to see what she wanted. I walked over and slid up next to her.

"Sure. What's up?" I wanted to run my fingers lightly down her bare arms. Run my fingertips over her neck and behind her ear as she talked. It was hell keeping my hands to myself.

"My grandmother was acting odd this morning. She was confused and that's not like her at all." Bella looked concerned for her grandmother. Her brown knit together between her brown eyes.

"She's getting up there. Some confusion in the elderly is normal but as her primary care physician I can tell you she's in great health. Suffering from a little heart trouble but nothing I would be concerned with." I told her. she looked like she was going to cry.

"Heart trouble? Is she sick?" she asked me. Without thinking I squeezed her shoulder tightly.

"Not like you're thinking. Helen has a crush on Old Quil." It was really sweet to see them dance around each other because they were both to chicken to make a move. Bella smiled brightly and clutched her heart.

"How cute is that? Does he like her too?" she asked. I shook my head. "Yeah. She checks the books to see when his appointments are to make sure she is dressed up and pretty when he comes in."

"I don't know how to ask this but…." Her cheeks flushed.

"But?"

"Edward are they um…..Well are they uh….." she stammered.

"No." I said with a smile.

"Really? Oh thank god. " She said as she hopped down to continue working. I moved over and started helping her hang lights.

"It's not that I wouldn't be happy for her but I'm staying with her and no one wants to walk in on _that." _ She shivered and stuck out her tongue. I laughed out loud.

"I understand totally. I live with my parents and while it's wonderful that they are still in love after all these years it's a little much to walk in and see them making out on the island." It happened more often than you'd think and more often then I wanted to see.

"I could live with that." She said wistfully.

"Trust me. No you couldn't. It's gross. At almost 30 I shouldn't see my parents making out." I told her.

"No. that's not what I meant. I meant that having a man be that in love with you after 20 plus years is the dream. Everyone wants to be loved like that." She was reaching up to push lights into the corner of the booth. She was on her tip toes and refusing to ask for help. I went over behind her, placed my hand over hers and pushed the light the rest of the way.

"Are your parents like that?" I asked. She shook her head.

"My parents don't even share a room anymore. My dad 'snores' and my mother doesn't like to mess her up between appointments." She said it like it was the most casual thing in the world. I smiled at her politely. It never occurred to me that people didn't stay in love like my parents were in love.

"Hey handsome." Tanya's voice was like nails on a chalk board. She was in a skin tight dress that barely covered her ass and seven inch heels. She wasn't here to work much to my utter dismay.

"Morning Tanya." I said in monotone. She really couldn't take a hint.

"Hey Tanya. Nice to see you again." Bella said sweetly.

"Edward I was wondering what you were doing tonight…" Tanya slinked closer to me and ran her finger down the front of my shirt. I could feel Bella watching us.

"Why?" I said. I should of just said watching battle star galactica again, it wasn't a lie.

"There's a brand new Italian restaurant in Port Angeles and I heard they have a great wine selection. I was thinking we could have a nice glass of wine, talk." She licked her lips and arched her hips into me. I was pinned between her and the booth, with Bella not a foot away. "Maybe we could do a little bit more then talk." She said licking her lips.

"Hey didn't you tell your mom and Alice that we would go pick up stuff from the printer tonight? It seemed pretty important." Bella interjected.

"Oh I did. I did tell them that. And it's really really important." I said moving her gently out of my personal space.

"Sorry honey, I guess he'll just have to rain check ya." Bella said walking over and putting her little hand in mine with a tiny squeeze.

"Of course. Don't want to disappoint your mother." She said through clenched teeth. "I'll call you tonight." She said seductively. She turned on her heel and stalked off haughtily. I looked down at Bella with true admiration.

"Let it never be said that your acting skills aren't on par with any Oscar winning actress."

"You are very welcome." She said while returning to hanging decorations.

"You know I really don't have plans tonight." I said.

"Me either." She sighed.

"Wanna see a movie?" I asked her. she blushed again,

"Like a date?" she asked softly. I blushed brightly and stumbled on my words,

"Well yeah. I mean we haven't….and I would really like too spend….at least I was hoping we could." I am such a hopless dork.

"I'd love too." She leaned up and kissed my cheek lightly then bit her lower lip.

"So we have a date…" I said.

"Mmhmm." She replied. I could barely contain myself.

A/n- it's a little short but it gets us where we are goin. If you like it review or I'll cry. Twitter is

fanfic trips. I am going to actually gonna start saying things when I have followers and thanks for all the reviews and follows!


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